Do I love Him?

I've been on a dating hiatus since...well, let's just say a looonnng while. At first, it was partly because I really didn't meet anyone I was interested in. Then as time progressed, it became a journey of rediscovering who I am in God. I didnt intend to stay single for long...now I see that God had other plans in mind. For one, I'm glad that I am taking life one step at time and spending more time with God. The closer I get to God, the more things in my life I have to let go...things I needed to let go for a while. But in the midst of all this, I met this guy who is both anti- and pro- my type of guy. We're different in the same ways we're similar. He's unique in a way that's appealing to me and how well we connected was just different and welcoming. I was tired of meeting guys who had the same things to say. My friend had this unique way of seeing things and saying things...I was well taken. Now, we're so close, I can feel myself pulling back. Why? First it was fear of what could happen (good or bad) for our friendship. Then (now) it's realizing that the "next step" won't be taken because of my love and commitment to God. See, my friend isn't a Christian...not to my knowledge that is. And sadly, he's one of the very few guys I've actually thought about being in a relationship with. Is it possible now? Yes, it is. If I choose to ignore what I said I wouldn't do in the beginning. Is this what God wants? I don't think so. And that's what hurts. I love my friend. But I love God more. I can only be a friend, that's all I can give for now. That's all I'm willing to give. I would rather him find Christ and never be with me than to be with me and never find Christ. Why should I be in the way? I never knew love for God could potentiate such painful but necessary decisions. So...do I love Him? I believe so...