Grief

Grief just is…sometimes.

I’m doing all the things: journaling, therapy-ing, working, spending time with folks who don’t sap my energy, clearing my space…

Then I have days like today where I just burst into tears thinking about you, Mom. And I ask God why. What did I do wrong to deserve you leaving us—me—so soon.

8/8/2022 makes it a year since we last spoke. Since I last heard your voice while you were alive. It feels like forever and yesterday all at once.

And while this past weekend I had a beautiful reading (thank you, thank you again by the way), nothing changes the fact that you’re gone. My happiest days are less because you’re not here. My worst days are even harder because you’re not here.

I thought I found a glimpse of happiness...but I spoke too soon 😅. It’s ok. Life is about learning on the journey…and it’s not necessarily about the destination. I have surrendered and finding a partner is no longer my responsibility. I have told God and the Universe what kind of partner I want—THEY know. They also know who I need to be with. So I will wait and continue to live my life to the fullest.

Some days are good, other days not so much. But therapy is teaching me that grief has ups and downs. Things will never be the same…the heaviness just lightens up some.

Saturday 8/13/22 will make it a year. And what a crazy year it’s been.

Love you always, Mom.