Exposure

Exposed.

I am exposed

It's a twisting and turning of the heart

It's the wondering "Is this happening again? He appeared so promising"

Familiar fears creep up around me, inside me

As I am exposed yet again

To an uncomfortable position

Do I stay? Do I ask more questions?

Does any of the answers make sense?

This reminds of X and it's making me go down the rabbit hole

But

Do I have to go down the rabbit hole?

Part of growing and healing

Is realizing that I don't have to do that anymore

I can let go

Of the feelings

Of the thoughts

Of him.

Even if it hurts.

Maybe that's why Spirit is silent

I am not sure of how to navigate this space

What I do know is that I refuse to sacrifice my sanity for someone

Who doesn't want to be with me enough

Enough.