Saturday, April 23, 2022

On your birthday

Lately my dreams of you have been filled with anger. For instance, I dreamt that you were reprimanding me for borrowing your jewelry and not returning them. I lashed out and asked you how could you focus on that when you were so focused on husband that didn't love you and your abandoning me. I also recognized in the dream that who I was talking to...wasn't you. Because you were never like that in real life. You were not selfish. And we shared shoes and jewelry. So I don't know what the dream meant. You also didn't have a response...then Gege showed up...and things faded away.

There are days I want to scream, Mom. You should've been here. You left too soon. How am I supposed to keep going like this? You're a memory now? Tomorrow would've been your 69th birthday. And it's breaking my heart in a way that I can't put into words. This is hell.

I know where you are, you are loved, safe, protected, free and thriving. I wish you all the love the universe has to offer...I miss you so much. The tears don't stop and the brokenness in my heart will never go away...not until I see you again.

I do wish you a happy birthday--

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