My, how things have changed

It has been quite some time since I wrote something...as in it's been almost 4 years. Those 4 years have been...crazy, for a lack of a better word. It's been for years of self-discovery, of lost, of love, of pain, of joy, of new friendships and of changed hearts. I still am in residency, almost done however. New Orleans has grown on me. I still fight with having to stay here--it's an ongoing but less traumatic battle.

I stopped writing for a while. There was just no energy left to describe everything I was going through. So I'll summarize what these last 4 years have been like:

Shy intern in a world where she never felt like she quite fit
Painful and tiring second year resident--had several fruitless relationships until she met MF
Intuition told her that MF was not the one--not a good one and certainly not the one for her
She fought and did not listen--because she thought maybe intuition was wrong
Home to Haiti in spring of 2016 as a desperate plea for respite
August 2016--proof that MF was definitely cheating or that maybe she was likely another side chick *sigh, selah, pause*
Loving, sweet, kind father-like uncle suddenly died--broke something inside of her
Afraid that she was like her mother, she paused even when she knew leaving him was necessary
Every "I love you" meant nothing. Nothing at all.
Even her heart stopped responding.
She's now a 3rd year resident and thriving--to her surprise
And she breaks up with him a week before her 30th birthday--for the last time
She's in Nashville, TN presenting her research
And again in Seattle, WA presenting a poster
All good things
April 2017 she visits her home again after a 7-year hiatus--my, how things have changed
But being home was good as much as it was painful it was also beautiful
The academic year ends with her professional life improving and her love life dying
July 6th, 2017--gets offered a potential position as *STAFF* at her home institution...her first big case as a fourth year resident (only because of Yahweh's favor)
Mother tells her of the dream; it confirms that Yahweh was indeed protecting her
She fought for herself and learned that it's perfectly fine
To let go of toxic love. 
2017 held a lot of brokenness...and revealed wounds that were never healed.
But this propelled her into a state of renewal and rebuilding
Almost done with residency and planning for fellowship, after all--Yahweh is forever good.

So now, I'm writing the draft for my second manuscript (it will be done today). I will be applying for fellowship this year and match (fingers crossed in Oct 2018). My parents are getting older. My family has some disjointed parts (is there truly a perfect family?). I appreciate all of the meaningful relationships I've had since being here. I am grateful for this time in my life.

I am learning to love, Jeffanne, for all of who she is. Stripping her of the unnecessary baggage and allowing the Universe (Yahweh) to shape me into the best me, daily.

Until next time (days rather than years this time),
Yours truly.