Rejections

It's never easy being told "no". Whether it's from parents growing up, or the guy/girl you like in high school, or even a friend you thought would be there for you. It's hard when the final answer is not what you wanted or your biggest hopes have been dashed. But what hurts more--to me at least--is when you pour out all you can in a given circumstance and what you get back are rejections.

I've been rejected--from people, friends, family (rarely), schools. Some have been more difficult to deal with then others. But this year (and half of last year), I have dealt with rejections from the one guy I spent 2 years "loving" to my top choices for grad school. This is not an entry to complain or bash the people/things that have hurt but this is to show my side of the whole thing...

Most med school applicants will get their fair share of acceptance, rejections or both. I've had both..more so of rejections than acceptances though...the first rejection was a silent one...so it didn't hurt that much. The second one came from my top choice...that didn't hurt as much either but the third one, yea, that kinda hurt. And it wasn't because it was the particular school (at this point, I honestly didn't want to go there anyway) but because it was another rejection, another unspoken statement saying "you're not good enough". It's a personal rejection. A rejection that after all's been said and done won't matter 20 years from now after I've impacted hundreds of lives around the world...because what one school doesn't want another school picks up and treasures. I am gold and it doesn't matter (really, it doesn't) if Univ. of Miami or Columbia or Univ. of Michigan can't see that. It's their loss. Never mine. Never ever mine.

At the beginning of this post, I was sad, wanting to go somewhere alone and staay there until the post-rejection feeling wears off...now, I just...am. Not too happy or sad. I found out my sister-in-law and niece were in a bad car accident and by God's grace no one was seriously injured...I would have been devastated if something happened. Life does go on, even after the most tragic things happen. Life doesn't change. We do. In the whole application cycle, I've changed. My outlook on how to do things, what to expect, and how to handle curve balls have all helped me amend my personal strength.

In the end, then, it works out. Sometimes, not the way we hoped for and other times much better than we imagined. I had a different idea of how this would happen...of how my life would turn out...of how my heart would be...but circumstances teaches lessons and I've learned. I've been humbled, broken, spent and rejected. It's happened. And I'm not that bad of a person though but I have my faults. We all do. We wouldn't be human if we were perfect...so I've accepted me as I am. And God, the love of my life, has accepted me just as I am since day 1. My family loves me and so do my friends...and I have been accepted into medical school. Out of the 5 schools that I've applied to, I've been rejected by 3...and accepted at one so far and waiting on the last one's decision. I'll end up exactly where I need to be, where I have to be, where I'll fit in best.

With that thought, I'm off to my imperfect world, with my imperfect self. Rejections are inevitable in life...acceptances are too. I'm choosing to focus on the acceptance because I want to be where I'm wanted and needed. Have a wonderful, wonderful night all. I hope my entry has cheered you up! God bless!