In the aftermath

No one said that the pain subsides after the worst happens.

No one said anything.

No one I know has been where I am.

At least I think so.

But this is the part that isn't mentioned in trials in the Bible...the part where you wonder how did Abraham and Sarah manage to stay faithful to God for 25 years believing for a son? Were there days were Sarah became sad and cried, knowing each year that went by she was getting older? Knowing that she was well beyond the years of childbirth? Is this how Noah felt when he woke up every morning to build a huge ship in preparation of a natural phenomenon that's never occurred before? Did Job cry silently as he waited and prayed for God to save him out the misery of his painful losses? How long did Ruth's hearbreak last when her husband died?

How many more nights will go by before it doesn't hurt anymore?

I wish I could say.

But I can't.

Only God knows.

I wish God would---God, please. My heart. This year. Your will...your will. This pain is yours. The now pain, past pain and future pain. All yours.

Baka is not over. Yet.