Closing the final chapter

I was cruising down memory lane (well not really) and wondering if there were a few last things I needed to do. You know when a relationship abruptly ends, you cut off all means of reminiscing/remembering the person? I do. I delete the emails, pictures, online conversations, anything that I've ever shared is thrown away. I thought I was done and was proud of myself for not writing a poem that would somehow verbalize the pain of then. I found out today I did write a thought on the subject matter:

"I thought I'd be broken by what you did. Instead two trails of tears glistened my tired
face, followed by the numbing of my heart. I'm confused...not lost. (Fall 2008)"

There it was. It wasn't a poem (it can't be) and yet it summarized my feelings perfectly. Confused (a little hurt too, you know) but not lost (or in despair). Now, it seemed like nothing really ever happened and if it did, I recovered pretty swiftly. Not on my own of course (with divine intervention). I deleted the one thing I thought a year ago I wouldn't be able to do. It was an honestly good feeling...kind of like saying goodbye childhood and welcoming adulthood. It's a nice feeling and I'm looking forward to many things, but one day at a time. I've been out there trying to prove myself...for what? I believe whoever "he" will be won't need me to prove anything. And oh, about my insecurities, who doesn't have them? This time around though I won't let them get the best of me. Ok, it's past my bedtime (and yours too for that matter). I'm off to la-la land (more like the kitchen; dishes need to be washed). It's been a long day running around in Manhattan. Ok, until next time...hopefully the year won't change yet. =)