As it draws near...

The leaves are gone and as I look outside the nearby window...all I see are lifeless trees. Bare and torn naked for the winter cold. How does losing it all seem to protect the life inside? What exactly triggers a tree, after losing all of its leaves to push out new buds and begin a new cycle of flowering? If only we could learn from nature...
How can we easily trust that when springtime comes around, new trees and flowers will emerge yet doubt when God says "The plan I have for your life is beyond what any eye can see or ear hear?"? I can't say anything...I fall into the category of doubting. Like trees in winter, I was stripped bare (still am) but it is in being stripped, that I realize the leaves I wanted to hold on for so long needed to be gone in order for new ones to emerge when the right time came along...if only I knew this earlier. I would've been stronger. More faithful. Less reluctant to accept the pain and hurt.
The year is changing (obviously) and with that comes new year resolutions and all the jazzy "promised" changes...I have none of that. The soil has been broken in. The seed planted since birth is ready to germinate...or should I say grow. It's been a wonderfully painful year; I've shed many tears to find out that I can't do it on my own. And giving help to those who need it is way easier than receiving help. I've been humbled, broken, bruised...but better off than I started the year. My strength does come from my Father and becomes even greater when those who love me for me understand my unspoken needs. Even when I'm silent they seek the voice in me...I've always known how to say "I'm sorry" or "I forgive you" or "I love you" but never in the context of when it truly mattered, when it was crucial. As the end of the year draws near, I smile. 2008 began with me crying because of loss that was necessary to strip heavy hearts...I'll always miss my grandma but I'm thankful. I can smile from my heart again. 2009 will be a great year...a year in which many, many trees will bear fruits...all in the love and name of God. Until the next year...one luv.

Happy New Year 2009!