Clearer heart, focused mind

It's about 68 degrees now in South Florida...and it's almost 4 am. I've fallen asleep a couple of times and woken up to pots to wash and a kitchen to clean up. My one brother who works is MIA...not sure of where he went. I faintly remember him coming back inside and then me getting up and telling him something...but now he's back. Safe and sound. My too imaginative mind had thoughts of him kidnapped and stuffed somewhere. Thank the heavens 99% of my thoughts don't become real worries.

Christmas was interesting. I didn't go to church...I stayed home with my mom. I did pray and thanked God for His gifts and blessings in my life. This year He protected me from making a huge mistake. And knowing myself it was something that would've taken me a while to forgive myself. I remember being upset with God but later "growing up" and just looking at the situation the way He wanted me to...and sure enough, over time, I let go of something that could have seriously affected our relationship...but looking back now, I think it's time I let it go. I tried doing it my own and cutting it cold turkey but learned again that I had to let myself be ready in order to truly let go. And it was a gradual process...but looking back now, I think now I'm ready. And that's what matters.

The next few days will consist of planning for the next 6 months...sort of. I take Step 1 on June 15th, God-willing. I plan to start studying in January. I will also be using FirstAid more along with my classes now that I'll have one exam for all 3 classes. Yay. This is going to be interesting.

Okay enough with the boring school talk; onto more interesting news. So found out that my parents dated for like 9 years before they eventually got married. My mom was 14 and my dad 17! Eh--not sure how I feel about that. I learned a lot to say the least this past Christmas...

I'm still on the road less traveled and quite honestly I don't mind it. This year has been tumultuous, with the many disasters in my homeland Haiti and personal storms that I've been through. I'm learning slowly how to allow myself to be human and a godly woman at the same time. It's hard. But I have the best person on my side so if He knows I can do it, then I can do it. Period.

(sorry this was just blah-blah-blah; this was written over 2+ hrs of me dividing my time between writing and getting ready for bed, lol)