Well.
I'm learning that I'm learning. Offering myself the grace that I need and deserve. Sitting with the uncomfortable. Letting go of the toxic habits. And the men. Honestly, I’m letting go of all of it. I deleted the Google Voice app. Deleted the numbers. Devising a strategy to not place myself in tempting situations. And learning to walk way from situations where I am not loved or kept safe.
being in the present sometimes feels like standing in the middle. Neither in the past nor the future. but standing still. not because I necessarily want to but because the past at times is still haunting and painful and the future is...unrealistic. The reality is though little by little time is moving whether I want to move forward or not. I guess this is what acceptance looks like. or at least the beginning of it.
i miss the protection and safety of my mom's love. maybe i wasn't paying attention to anyone else. but it was the one love where i didn't have to be anyone else but me, i wasn't asked to be anyone else but me, and i lived.
